#3

Keywords: self-discovery, perseverance, 20’s,  life

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I recently tried to backtrack my self again. How was I when i was on elementary school, how was i when i hit my puberty cycles or specifically when i got my first period, what kind of things that i loved the most, what kind of things that i hated the most, etc. And, I realize one thing for sure, I was this kind of person who easily get anything I want. It isn’t “get something with money” of course, considering money always have been the biggest issue in my family ever since. Instead of, something that I want dearly, something that I want to achieve. My parents said that I was really smart back then on elementary school. I could finish exam, with 30-40 questions, only for 10-15 minutes and I managed to get perfect score afterwards. I also still remember that time when I joined math competition in my neighborhood. I was on 6 grade back then. In order to get the first prize, all of the participants should answer 10 questions for 5 minutes. And I surprised everyone because I could answer all 10 questions for a minute, and again, with perfect score. Do you get what I mean? I got what I want without trying so much. Effortlessly. As I am getting older, I’m starting to realize that it impacts me in any way possible. Especially, in terms of mentality and perseverance, even though my parents always hard on their children. It’s difficult for me to do something consistently. It’s hard for me to do repetitive things for a long time. I tend to procrastinate because I know I am capable to finish everything quickly, and of course with good quality. And whenever someone underestimate my capability, I will easily feeling down. I’m not good at accept criticism because I see life as competition. I want to show the world that I could get anything done easily. But again, as I am getting older, I had hard times because of it. Because, I’m starting to realize that the actual problems in the real world can’t be solved easily. It is complex, it needs consistency and perseverance. Something that I lack of. And now, as I’m working on these qualities I am lacking of, I only hope that instead of being a smart person, my descendant would become a person with hardworking and sociable quality and of course with strong mentality (END/DS).

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