Keywords: resolution, goals, process

Hey peeps, long time no write! And yeah, alteration was and actually is still happening in my life right now. Honestly, I’m a bit surprised to see that my previous posts were full of negative vibes and words of surrender. Like, I’ve been knew there was something wrong with myself, I wanted to change it, but the dubious feeling is boundless, I even feel a bit scared with what I wrote. *The urge to hug and pat my past self is supreme*.

So, I have this intention to make my blog filled with positive vibes. And since I love to read so many articles which I usually tend to forget 85% of it afterwards *whoops*, I think it would be good–& of course beneficial for both of us, the readers, and me–to share what I’ve read + what’s my stand point(s) in here.

Since I am currently a trash for self-growth & self-development articles, you can expect me writing about it most of the times hehehe. But worry not, I am actually a trash for many things, constantly being a self-proclaimed-curious-person, so you can expect more than self thingy post in my blog! ūüôā

Ok, that’s for the intro, now it’s time to share what I’ve read.

Because, it’s nearly the end of 2017, *i can smell the scent of holiday already*. Let’s talk about goals, means, and momentum.

As I grow older, it becomes more vivid to me that process is “a lot more” than result. A lot more important, a lot more meaningful, requires a lot more hard work, and have a lot more impacts, either for those who want to have a major change or those who only want to wander.

Process is important, process is where you unconsciously becoming a lot more mature, attentive, and ardent. We are the result of a lot of process we’ve been going through, period.

Why I suddenly talk about process whilst I state about goals, means, and momentum at the beginning?

New year, it’s identical with “new you”, full with a list of abundance of hopes everyone wants to fulfill in the near future or so called resolution. But, let me ask you this, do you still remember all of your resolutions for 2017? and, have you achieved all of that? If you have achieved it, let me send you my honor, you are a great human being. And if you haven’t, worry not, most of people even forget their resolutions. Pardon my laziness to search for data about how long people could keep up with their New Year resolutions, but we’ve been knew after all that most of us tend to break it not long after we made it. And because of that, the number of memes spreading online about the high possibility of us break our own NY resolution are pretty immense. Of course, NY is not the only time you can spell out what you want to achieve in life. You can do it anytime of course, especially when sudden inspiration hits you. But, it honestly concerns me, in a way that we will diminish our potential, or the way we see ourselves.

Generally speaking, resolution usually is all about change, or improvement from and to certain condition. And, according to the articles I read, the reason why we easily break our resolution is because we tend to undervalue the process.

Cited from one of articles I read, it says that “The big things are just the small things done repeatedly.” It’s not infrequent home runs that will lead us to achieve our goals but instead our tiny steps, day by day, time to time, that we do consistently. It takes time, yes it is, and of course it is! But it is how it works. Instead of hurriedly copy some steps that our friends already did–because it might not work in our case–It is the source for us to clearly evaluate ourselves. It is the source for us to considerately planning what we should do afterward. By do it consistently.

Besides, through the process, don’t forget to give 100%. This one is quite interesting, it says that¬†‚ÄúIt‚Äôs actually far more exhausting to not work than it is to work. It takes far more energy to sit with internal conflict than it does to get to work.‚Ä̬†and I can’t agree more with it. I often found myself regret the choice that I made (to decide not to do what i supposedly do) and it’s far more exhausting because in my case, it could negatively impact my mood for the whole day. Whereas, If I do it anyway, I would be proud of myself and it could be the point where I push myself to achieve an even greater point.

That’s the highlight I found interesting from the articles I read. And if you are interested with the articles, here I list it at the end note.

So guys, even though a lot of memes about NY resolution are spreading wildly on internet, do not hesitate to make one of yours!


  1. https://medium.com/personal-growth/dont-live-for-the-moment-live-for-the-legacy-dc3c62a8cba4

  2. https://medium.com/the-mission/how-to-permanently-change-any-behavior-and-evolve-into-the-best-version-of-yourself-998d13a2f0d2

  3. https://medium.com/darius-foroux/how-to-figure-out-the-next-big-move-in-your-life-journey-92bcfc527c82



Keywords: self-discovery, perseverance, 20’s, ¬†life


I recently tried to backtrack my self again. How was I when i was on elementary school, how was i when i hit my puberty cycles or specifically when i got my first period, what kind of things that i loved the most, what kind of things that i hated the most, etc. And, I realize one thing for sure, I was this kind of person who easily get anything I want. It isn’t “get something with money” of course, considering money always have been the biggest issue in my family ever since. Instead of, something that I want dearly, something that I want to achieve. My parents said that I was really smart back then on elementary school. I could finish exam, with 30-40 questions, only for 10-15 minutes and I managed to get perfect score afterwards. I also still remember that time when I joined math competition in my neighborhood. I was on 6 grade back then. In order to get the first prize, all of the participants should answer 10 questions for 5 minutes. And I surprised everyone because I could answer all 10 questions for a minute, and again, with¬†perfect score. Do you get what I mean? I got what I want without trying so much. Effortlessly. As I am getting older, I’m starting to realize that it impacts me in any way possible. Especially, in terms of mentality and perseverance, even though my parents always hard on their children. It’s difficult for me to do something consistently. It’s hard¬†for me to do repetitive things for a long time. I tend to procrastinate because I know¬†I am capable to finish everything quickly, and of course with good quality. And whenever someone underestimate my capability, I will easily feeling down. I’m not good at accept criticism because I see life as competition. I want to show the world that I could get anything done easily. But again, as I am getting older, I had hard times because of it. Because, I’m starting to realize that the actual problems in the real world can’t be solved easily. It is complex, it needs consistency and perseverance. Something that I lack of. And now, as I’m working on these qualities I am lacking of, I only hope that instead of being a smart person, my descendant would become¬†a person with hardworking and sociable quality and of course with strong mentality (END/DS).


Keywords: life crisis, self-discovery, passion, reality, question, 20’s


I often forget who i am. Why i am here, on this path, that feel as hell, full of obstacles and hardship. I often lose my track. I lose my sense of purpose. I often disregard my roots and let myself loose on temporary happiness which somehow lead me into blindness. I realize it. I regret things. But I keep repeating it. Until it become a cycle where i, even myself, feel sorry to this soul, soul that trapped in my body. I keep repeating it. I know i would regret it at the end. But still do it anyway. Somehow, I feel I hate myself. I wonder how other people could deal with it easily? They say, I shouldn’t think about it too much and instead do what I have to do. But, whenever I try to do it, it feels wrong, it doesn’t make me happy, it neither satisfy my¬†mind nor¬†my soul. Is it normal to have this feeling? Is it normal to lead a life like this? What kind of end will i face if i keep it on status quo? (END/DS).


Keywords: self-discovery, introvert, extrovert, 20’s

* * * * * * *

Belakangan ini, menghabiskan waktu sendiri merupakan hal yang paling kusukai. Baca buku, nonton film, dengerin lagu, memperbarui playlist, cari-cari berita baru di internet, sampai hanya sekedar tidur dan bermalas-malasan di kasur. Rasanya aku cukup puas dan merasa senang hanya ditemani oleh diriku sendiri. Rasanya tenang dan hidup terasa lebih mudah. Aku yang bukan seorang introvert, setidaknya itu berdasarkan hasil tes psikotes dan beberapa tes kepribadian gratis di internet, dibuat bertanya-bertanya. Pasalnya, seorang ekstrovert seharusnya mendapat energi dari interaksi dengan orang-orang di sekitarnya, kan? Tapi, mengapa menghabiskan waktu sendiri terasa sangat menyenangkan? Pikiran itu berkecamuk cukup lama dalam imaji ku. Aku tau, setiap orang memiliki sisi introvert dan ekstrovert dalam dirinya. Aku menyadari itu.

Namun, hari ini sepertinya pikiran itu telah menemukan jawabannya. Setelah ku refleksikan lagi, aku tidak menyadari betapa besarnya energi yang ku dapat setiap kali aku menghabiskan waktu dengan orang-orang di sekitarku. Misalnya, aku merasa lebih senang saat ini setelah menghabiskan waktu dengan sahabatku. Rasa senangnya tidak dapat digambarkan dengan angka. Perasaan yang ada pun bukan hanya senang, namun pada level di mana aku sangat termotivasi dan terinspirasi. Perasaan ini muncul setiap kali aku menghabiskan waktu dengan orang-orang di sekitarku.

Terdengar sepele ya? Namun, mencoba untuk menemukan bagian demi bagian dari jati diriku merupakan hobiku saat ini. Sungguh, ini sungguh membahagiakan, dan ini sungguh sulit. Tidak mudah untuk terbuka dan jujur pada dirimu sendiri. Aku harus belajar untuk lebih terbuka dan memahami diriku sendiri. Hasilnya, lambat laun, aku mampu menemukan kepingan-kepingan puzzle dari diriku. Kepingan-kepingan puzzle yang apabila terkumpul semuanya akan membentuk identitasku. (END/DS)